A history of heartache
by zenorules101
Summary: Arthur is still hurt from way back when Alfred declared his independence. Can the heart be fixed my a simple i love you or are those scars there for good. USUK and like a onesided USCAN. Strong launge rated M just to be safe sry no lemon.please review!
1. Chapter 1

I fall to the ground rain supposedly covering the fact I was crying, but no not from him never from him. "You were once so big Arthur." Said the newly independent country shaking his head a mixture of pity and what appears to be hatred, I want to respond to tell him to fuck off or something in that nature but cant all I can do now is cry. I scream waking from that all too real night mare. Hoping to shake of the remainder of that horrid dream I go to my bathroom to splash water on my face. But when I turn on the light and look in the mirror I find that I've been crying again.

"Damn that Alfred." I whisper, "After all I did for him and he treated me like that, and look at me I am still crying about what happened centuries ago." I wipe the tears off my face and splash water on it. I wonder to the kitchen figuring that a nice warm cup of tea will clear my mind. What I find happens though is that while the tea is cooking I start thinking about the time before the war, before the fighting, before the heart ack.

"_Arthur what are you cooking for snack today?" asked the cute blue eyed younger nation. A big smile comes across my face as I look down at him._

"_I'm making scones and some tea." A look of dread crosses Alfred's face. My smile disappeared from my face a scowl taking its place. "What's wrong with scones?"_

"_It's just that every time you make them they taste like ass, cant you make something else." That comment earned the young boy a hard hit on a head a big lump forming in that spot._

"_Don't you use that kind of langue with me you git where did you learn that from, was it that bloody France!" __The young boy looks up at him innocently and shakes his head._

"_No I learned it from you when you are yelling at France big brother." I look down a big sweat drop forming behind my head._

"_Of course you did." I murmured recalling all the names I called Francis in front of the kid. "Fare enough just don't use that kind of langue until your older ok." I ask exasperated. He quickly nods his head blond hair bouncing with him._

"_I understand big brother, one more thing though." He said big blue eyes gazing at me. I couldn't help but smile. I bend down to his level and ask,_

"_What is it Alfred?"_

"_Your scones still suck can we have something else PLEASE!" That was it I chased that boy around the dining room and kitchen and when I caught him I lifted him up and cared him to the living room where I dropped him on the couch and tickled him until he admitted my scones where the best._

The high pitched whistle of the kettle broke me out of my dazed state. A rare smile crossed my face "Git." I murmured fixing my tea. I walked to the living room and turned on the TV hoping to take my mind off things. But I just sit there and stare at the TV remembering all the good and bad times we shared.

At America's house:

"Hey Mattie?" I murmur looking over at him. We are sitting on the couch watching a hockey game when I decide to finally figure out this thing once and for all. He glances over at me a bit irritated at the interruption of his favorite sport.

"Yes Alfred" he answers waiting for me to get on with it. I take a big breath trying to figure out the right way to word this. While he's waiting for me to say something he takes a big sip out of my Pepsi.

"How do you know if you're in love?" I say bluntly and seriously. This reaction makes Canada spit out all the liquid that was in his mouth.

"Excuse me." He blinks dumbfound by my question.

"You heard me, how do you know if you're in love?" I ask again with the equal amount of bluntness as last time. He examines me for a little bit longer and when he realize how serious I am turns down him beloved hokey game and focuses all his attention on me.

"I'm not sure I'm the right person to ask Al, considering I've never actually been in love or been loved before."

"What are you talking about Mattie I love you." I say ostentatiously and hug my brother so tight that I think he couldn't breathe for a second there. He eventually wiggles out of my grasp and glares at me.

"You know what I mean you idiot. Besides for you, Francis, and on occasion Arthur no one even remembers my name not even my pet Polar bear remembers my name." He says a hint of darkness in his eyes. I just smile and throw my arm around him.

"You're over exaggerating." I laugh. He shakes his head.

"I wish I was but I'm not. One time we were at a meeting and Russia sat right on me because he thought I was a chair." I burst into laughter and easily dodge his blows smiling at him. But then my smile fades and my mood turns uncharacteristically serious.

"Mattie I'm serious though can you at least try to give me some advise." He sighs and nods.

"Fine give me a second though" We sat there in silence for a while my already short patience wearing out. "Well I think if you were in love you would think about the person all the time." _check "_If you were to see them cry you would want to cry to and want to do all in your power to make them happy again." _check _"If they were to die you would to." _Check _"You want to be with that person all the time." _Check _"You often find yourself wondering if they are thinking of you." _Check _"When you and that person hug or kiss you never want it to end." I smile deviously earning me a worried look from Mattie. "Any way why do you want to know do you think you love someone?" I look over at him wondering how much to tell him and smile.

"Yup I think I do but I need to check off the last box so see you later bro." I said patting his head and start walking to the door. But before I could I felt a tug at my sleeve.

"Al if he rejects you just know I'll always be there for you." He whispers looking up at me a blush coming across his face. I smile down at him and bend down gently kissing him on the lips.

"You liar." I murmur in his ear. He examines me clearly confused. "You said you never loved anybody." He just shrugs and looks away.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have told you I mean you love him and we're brothers." I leaned down and kissed him again

"I promise that if I do get shot down then you can have me if you want." I say to the Canadian locking his gaze. He smiles and nods. With that he lets go and I quickly leave heading to his house hoping that I find out my jumbled feelings.

**At England's house:**

"Why the hell am I still sulking?" I yell throwing a nearby pillow at the television set. "I usually get over it by now." My voice instantly drops. "Why, Why, Why?" I repeat to myself. "I..I don't l…love h..him do I?" The answer come quickly and starling to me. "I do." I whisper and burst into tears. "I love Alfred F. Jones!" I scream at the top of my lungs tears coming down harder than before.

"And you act like that's a bad thing" said a familiar voice at the entrance of the living room. I turn around and gazed up at the blond super nation leaning against the frame of the entrance. All I could do is stare as Alfred walks over, bends down in front of me and press his lips firmly and passionately against mine. When we part I couldn't help but gasp. "Check" he says leaning forward to kiss me again but this time I, reluctantly, avoided his soft lips.

"Why did you come here, what do you mean by check, who do you think you are just out outright kiss…" I was cut off by his lips and frankly I didn't care I melted into his kiss drowning in the bliss of it.

"You talk too much." He says when we break for air again. "And you ask too many questions can't you be spontaneous once in your life." I gaze up at him thinking of a proper response to those statements but instead of saying anything I pull him into another kiss. I feel his lips curling up into a smile as I kiss him. He gets up without breaking the kiss and straddles me so he can get closer deepening the kiss. Before I knew what was happening I felt his tongue press against my lips asking permission to come in which I happily gave him. Our tongues did a quick battle of dominance which he quickly won. He explored my mouth running his tongue against the walls of my mouth causing a moan to escape. He broke the kiss once more leaving a small strand of saliva behind. He gazes meaningfully and passionately into my eyes. "I love you Artie with all my heart. And I'm extremely sorry for treating you the way I did. I mean I really had no right to do that after everything…."

"Oh be quiet you git." I interpret pressing my lips against his like he did the first time. We kissed some more but I stopped when I felt his hands starting to unbutton my shirt. "Alfred" I whisper to him.

"Do you not want to do this?" He ask love prominent in his eyes. I could tell he didn't want to force me to do what I didn't want him to do and while I loved that it was not my intention.

"Not here no, but I have a nice comfy bedroom up stares we could finish this in." I say seductively in his ear. He starts at me blankly for a second the a huge smile came across his face. He gets of me and before I could even blink he picked me up and carried me wedding style to my room kissing me all the way. When we get there he kicks the half cracked all the way open and once inside he kicked it closed. He gently places me down on the bed but to my surprise he breaks our kiss. "What is it?" I ask propping myself up with my arms.

"I need to do something." He said with a devious seductive smile. He runs over to my dresser and goes through my underwear draw.

"What the bloody hell are you doing you git." I snap then after a quick breath to calm myself down I seductively add "You have a pair of pants over here you just have to find them." I see him stare longingly over at me and I notice a huge bulge in his pants.

"As much as I want to take you up on that offer Artie I need to get a free pair right now. As for yours I'd like to take my time with that." And with that he pulled out one of my boxers, opens the door, slips the boxers on the handle, and shuts the door again. When I give him a questioning look he just smiled and said "so we don't get interrupted my love." He walks over and straddles me again, "Now where were we."

"Right about here." I say pulling him back into our kiss.

CANADA'S POV:

"I wonder how things turned out between the two." I ask myself as I walk up England's porch steps. "I didn't tell Al but I don't think all that hurt that happened between the two can disappear so easily." I knew I was just lying to myself. I knew how obvious how they felt about each other every one knew. It's just that I love him to much so my heart is telling me otherwise. I open the unlocked door and peek inside its still dark with a light in the kitchen on. I walk in quietly and explore the house. I find the TV on even though the Living room light was off. That's when I hear muffled talking. I head up stairs and notice only one light on so I head toward it. When I get there I notice boxers are on hanging off the handle. "Strange" I mummer to myself, that's when I hear what the muffled voices are saying.

"Oh god Alfred harder, harder" I hear the English man scream.

"Anything for you my love," I hear Al pant back.

"Oh go I'm going to…."

"Me…me to," and there's a simultaneous scream as there orgasms ramp through their bodies. I couldn't take it. I knew this would happen I knew and was resigned to that life. But I didn't know it would hurt this fucking much. I feel tears flowing down my face as I stare at the door listening to them saying sweet nothings to each other.

"I love you" I whisper "and I'm really happy for you Al." With that I ran and ran not sure what to do or where to go all I knew was that I needed to get away from that house. As I'm running I recall the conversation me and Al had before he left.

"You liar." He had said "you said you never loved anyone." _No Alfred I was telling the truth. _I think, _Sure I loved you but no one's ever loved me. _"I love you Mattie." I hear his voice say again in my head. I stop and collapse to the ground not sure of my surroundings but my body refusing to move. A sad smile crosses my face my tears come back full force "I love you to Al."

* * *

**Ok so i was going to write a lemon in this story but i'm not sure how to right one for *Cough...Cough* their situation *blush* so yea i might think of it but i dont know anyways please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Why the hell are you crying?" Asked a red eyed nation standing in front of me, I blink and look up my vision bleary with tears. I just stare at him not understanding what he said in my delusional state. Noticing this Gilbert rolls his eyes but he doesn't leave instead he asks again. "Why….are….you…..fucking…..crying?" I open my mouth to speak but all that comes out are choked cries. He mutters something in German then grabs me by the arm pulling me up to my feet. "We're going to my place" is all that he said as he dragged me off to his decided location. I stare at him not saying anything just simply trying to make out why he is being so kind to me. We are soon at his hotel and he quickly drags me to his room where he pushes me inside. The room has a queen bed, a small TV in the corner, a desk to one side, and a mini fridge next to it He ordered me to sit down which I quickly did while he went over and grabbed to beers out of the fridge passing one to me.

"What kind is it?" I find myself asking stupidly.

He just shrugs "I don't know, I know it's German though 'cause I won't drink anything else." He replied simply "Anyway why were you outside bawling your eyes out?" I sit there staring at the beer in my hands feeling the tears come back to my eyes except this time I try to hold them back. I don't think I planned on telling him at first but then I find myself blabbing about everything. About the conversation Al and I had, my confession, me coming over to Arthur's to find out just how their night had panned out. I find myself crying by the end and Gilbert just staring at me trying to make sense of what I just told him. We sat in that uncomfortable awkward silence for a while and I panicked thinking that maybe I said too much.

"I'm sorry Gil, I shouldn't have told you that much." Just like I shouldn't have told Alfred I loved him, just like I shouldn't have gone to Arthurs house, just like I shouldn't have fallen in love with my brother in the first place.

"There's no need to apologies Mattie." He mummers, then looks up at me his red eyes meeting my velvet ones. "I'm sorry he did that to you." He tells me earnestly there's something in the way he said that, the way he gazed at me with those eyes, which made my heart quicken. He got up from where he was sitting and straddled me forcing a blush to cross my face. "Is there anything that I can do to make you feel better?" he whispers in my ear, then gently lick my ear lobe. I shiver by the intensity of the moment, I was about to push him away when I realized this is what I needed. I needed to take my mind off of Al, I needed to be held, I needed for someone to notice me, to love me. And that is exactly what Prussia wanted to do.

"There is something." I whisper my voice shaking as I pull the bigger man into a kiss. I feel him smile on my lips as he picks me up and carries me to the bed. He was gentle enough with me, well gentler than I had honestly expected from someone like him. He gave me light butterfly kisses down my jaw and neck where he slipped off my shirt before I even realized what was happening. A little voice inside me was screaming for me to stop that I was just using him and that he might actually have feelings for me but I just simply push the voice aside saying that this was his idea not mine I'm doing nothing wrong and so we continued. Gilbert, not considering his rather big length, was an excellent lover. He took things slow and progressed only when I was ready, though he had to strain he held out so we could release together, and to my complete surprise he cuddled with me all night his pale arm draped over my slim waist. I roll over looking into his red eyes. "This isn't going to turn into something, right? This was just a onetime fling?" Gilbert looks at me for a bit then smiles.

"Yeah of course it is." He laughs "Mattie you aren't really my type you know, just wanted to make ya feel better." With that I smile and burry my face into his chest wishing I was with Alfred instead.

* * *

"I'm going to win Al over." I declare stuffing my face with pancakes Gil just rolls his eyes.

"And how are you going to do that? As long as he's going out with that Brit he's off limits, 'cause I'm pretty sure that that stupid American doesn't cheat." With that being said he drinks his coffee waiting for my reaction. I just sit there and take in everything that the German nation has just said. He is right, Alfred would never cheat on Arthur for two reasons. First he loves the man more than anything in the world and two because it simply isn't what a hero would do and if it's not heroic it is out of my brother's nature.

"I'll think of something" I mummer gears in my head turning. This was not going to be easy and no ideas were coming to me, frustrated I shove a mouthful of pancakes in my mouth.

"You could kill him." Prussia says calmly as I choke on the food in my mouth.

"What" I screech then look up to see his highly amused face. "Bastard" I mumble clearly not appreciating his stupid joke. That's when a light bulb goes off in my head and a rather malicious smile making its way to my face earning a worried look from my friend. "Actually that isn't such a bad idea."

"What the hell are you talking about Mattie; you're going to kill Arthur!" He practically yells and I just shrug in return.

"No let me rephrase that" I think for a bit forming what to say next in my head then turn my attention back to Gilbert. "I do not intend to kill England because, despite everything, he's still my friend." I pause thinking of what I could do that would cause an unfortunate split between the two nations "But perhaps putting a little doubt in their relationship wouldn't be so bad." Me and Gilberts eyes meet and a huge devilish smile plays across his lips.

"I like the way you think my little Canadian friend" he says winking.

"Why thank you Gil" I say sweetly, silence ensues the rest of our meal as I plot a certain Americans and English men relationship down fall. Oh this was going to be horrendously good.

* * *

"So what did Russia say?" I ask anxiously. Gilbert just shrugs and smiles at me.

"He said 'of course I'll allow America become one with me da'" he said using a horrible Russian accent. I nod thinking things out making sure I had all my boxes checked.

"Good and I have that letter to Arthur and Alfred ready," I smile. "All we need now is to wait to the world meeting." He smiles back at me nodding then hesitates.

"Will you be ok on your own, I mean I won't be able to come because my dick of a brother West hates it when I crash them." I nod and hug him quickly before backing off with a look of what I hope is determination on my face.

"I'll be fine Gil no need to worry." The a bit more darkly say "besides no one notices me so I won't have any trouble." He laughs and pats me on the head.

"All right then, anyway let's get out of Russia before Belarus shows up." He says looking around nervously. "That girl scares the shit out of me." I bite my lip and nod quickly in agreement.

"Yeah she scares every one, I mean if some ones freaky enough to scare Ivan then you should be afraid, very afraid." With that we head off the whole time both of us look for a crop of long blonde hair and a purple dress.

* * *

**(Arthurs point of view)**

"I swear that boy can be a complete git sometimes" I say to myself shaking my head. I look down at the letter and reread it one more time.

_Hey old man, this meeting is really boring aint it! HEY I GOT A REALLY GREAT IDEA…how bout you come and meet the awesome hero in the second conference room down the hall*wink*.I'll be waiting*gives very seductive look*_

_The hero_

I shake my head for what feels like the 50th time in the short distance from our conference room to the one in the note. "We are not doing anything I'm just simply going so I won't have to hear his mouth that I ditched him." I say aloud to no one in particular then smile, knowing full well I might pleasure him a little.

"Arthur" calls a soft voice from behind. I turn around and blink _**Alfred?**_ The boy that looks like my boyfriend sighs noticing my confusion and smiles at me. "Its Canada" he says routinely and the light bulb clicks on.

"Oh yes, of course, I truly am sorry Matthew." He smiles at me.

"No problem anyway can I talk to you for a second" I hesitate looking back to the direction of the second conference room.

"I don't know I am in a bit of a hurry…" I murmur trailing off the other nation quickly shakes his head.

"Oh no it will only take a second it's about my brother." My head whips around suddenly taking interest in what the other nation was saying.

"Oh yes Alfred, what about him?"

"Well he's been acting really strange lately…" the other trails off biting his lip.

"So he is always strange, that's just part of his infuriating personality." I say rolling my eyes, but he nods, not so sure.

"True, hey Arthur if you don't mind me asking how long have you and Al been going out for?" My face turns bright red and I look away from the violet eyes staring me down.

"W-w-well a-a-a-about I-I-I d-d-d-don't k-k-know two months now" I furry my eyebrows together why was I stuttering so much I never stutter, _Damit it all it's all that stupid American's fault I get like this! _

"And how are things going between you two" my head turns back staring him in the eyes brought back from my thoughts by the strange question.

"We're doing fine" I say a bit defensively he smiles and shrugs it off.

"No fighting?"

"Of course we fight but no more than other couples, I think" I add uncertainly we do argue at bit more than normal couples but it's never anything major.

"All the…um…aspects, I'll say, is fine and normal" a light blush comes across his cheeks and I realize what he means.

"Yes of course" in truth it hasn't. We haven't done anything for weeks now, mainly because of me. It's just I'm never in the mood and I've just been so busy.

"Well I guess I was letting my imagination run wild" he softly laughs then starts to turn to walk away but I grab his shoulder dreading what all these questions were leading to.

"Wait Matthew when you said that he's been acting weird, what made you say that in the first place" he just shrugs and turns back around towards me.

"Well when he comes over or if he invites me over to his place, sometimes were will be right in the middle of something and he'll answer the phone then some weird look will cross his face a mixture of happiness and nervousness. I'm used to being ignored especially by him but it seemed to be different than normal. At first I thought he was talking to you and wanted to tell you…let's just say private things and I let it slide but then I let my curiosity get the better of me and I eased dropped and yes he was being all seductive and stuff but I realized that it wasn't you."

"How, how did you know it wasn't me." He seems to hesitate and shakes his head.

"Well I heard him say someone's name; it sounded like Vanya or something." My eyes widen in shock and I'm worried my knees would give out any second.

"I-isn't that Russian?" With a sympathetic look Matthew nods his head.

"I'm sorry Arthur I shouldn't have-"

"No your wrong…maybe you just heard wrong or something" I say desperately prying that that was the case.

"Arthur I know that's what I-"

"I'm sorry Matthew but I have to go met Alfred, good day now." I say stiffly and hurry off to the conference room. "It's alright old chap," I say calmly to myself. "Alfred would never cheat on you."

"Ngh Ivan~" Arthur knew that voice from anywhere and he slams open the door to see Alfred sitting on the conference room table with a mouth full of Russian.

"Alfred?" I say though it came out more like a question. I felt tears pour down my face but I shake my head and glared at him with my all. "Alfred F. Jones what the fuck do you think you're doing" I scream at him and he quickly puts Russia at arm's length.

"No Arthur it isn't what it looks like, really it isn't" Alfred begs trying to break from Russia's grasp but failing.

"Fredka where are you going, we are just getting started Da?"

"Ha it really isn't what it looks like huh?" I run a hand through my hair and look up at the ceiling trying to calm my tears before looking back at him. "I can't believe you Alfred. I thought you truly cared about me and now…now…now here I find you, in the arms of some…some…some fucking commie" I yell not knowing what else to say. "I hate you America and I never want to see you again," before I leave I spit at the ground next to them and slam the door shut behind me. Then I ran. With no real destination in mind I ran as fast as my feet would take me. I hear someone chasing behind me and calling my name but I just run faster and faster. In my heart a mixture of emotions poured out as tears. Anger, betrayal, bitterness, sadness….every feeling I had that one rainy day came back full force and kept me running…crying. In my head I vowed; I never want to see Alfred F. Jones, the United States of America, again.

* * *

Unknown to two nations, there was a smug Canadian watching from a corner. He saw how Arthur stumbled in upon Alfred and Ivan. He saw how he took off running and after a moment's struggle how Alfred rushed after him. He saw how hurt Arthur had been and how desperate Alfred had been. As he watched contently from the sidelines a red eyed albino came up behind him and slipped and arm around his shoulders. "So how's your plan coming along my little maple leaf?" Matthew let out what can only be described as a sinister laugh before he looks up and smiles at him.

"Perfect, before you know it I'll have stole Alfred from right under the great Britannia's pompous little nose."

* * *

**Yep so i wrote part of this a while ago (so long ago i had to re-read the first chapter and the already writen part of the second chapter). Yeah so my enternet went out, much to my dismay, and i had nothing better to do( i mean all i had to do that day was HW XP bleh) so i ended up(to my surprise) finishing this up as a second chapter ^_^! So im not sure if i should even continue this, but im posting this so it doesn't just sit there in my story part of my computer glaring at me. Anyway let me know your thoughts I'm also doing another(multi chapter) story but i want to at least have the second chapter before i post so yeah...HOPED YOU ENJOYED! REVIEW PLEASE!**


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